The second most popular question in art, following “why is the Mona Lisa smiling,” is of course, “why is that squiggly dude screaming on the bridge?”
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Loki introduces Baldur to one of mankind’s greatest achievements: modern art. The Viking gods understand this stuff even less than your average farm worker from Iowa. Not to diss on farm workers from Iowa, but they aren’t usually eating cheese off toothpicks and sipping appletini’s on opening night while watching some guy on heroin take a dump on a sheet of distressed metal in order to problematize the relation of the body to the notion of surface in the post “post” double post modern era. Odin bless them in their glorious ignorance.
Baldur can’t understand why the women in Asgard look nothing like those on Midgard.
Loki explains:
The women in Asgard are covered up with so much armor and weaponry that there’s no telling what lies beneath. Those that are willing to depart with their shells are frequently in dire shape from tussles with giants, dragons, and enemy clans. Add to this the generally cold northern climate and you have a prescription for total female disaster.
Yeah, I know this comic is a little sick. Welcome to my twisted brain. At least I know — like the Norse gods — that I won’t have to live with myself forever. Even the afterlife is temporary. This comic is a little misinformed as well. Everyone knows there are plenty of smoking hot Valkyries in Asgard. Unfortunately, I don’t currently have the illustration skills to create them for the electronic pages of Odin and Friends!
Baldur learns about the real world from his “Uncle Loki.” Yeah, it’s about time.
And on a completely unrelated note, happy birthday Abraham Lincoln.
