Viking Diet

Meat, fish, meat, and more fish. And maybe a carrot or two. The Viking Diet was known throughout Europe for its delicate flavors, and actually formed the basis of today’s French cuisine. In a little known chapter in culinary history, Norman settlers developed special goops to completely mask the brutish flavors of their homeland, utilizing saucy antecedents of today’s Bernaise and Bourguignon. Eventually these fancy pants condiments made their way back to Scandinavia and nowadays its almost impossible to get anything in Sweden that isn’t slathered in some “French” topping.

Who is the fiesty young woman in the background? A loving wife, perhaps, but more likely a young maiden abducted from the Hebrides and forced to cook for this carnivorous oaf. Imagine the pleasure she felt at hearing that her brutish overlord will only be eating vegetables from now. After all, the door to Valhalla is only open to those that die on the battlefield with a sword in hand, not those who croak on an operating table clinging to a leg of deep fried chicken.

Our heroic Viking is doing his best though… doing his best to hide his tears, that is. Because, yes, even Vikings cry. Not very often, and not lots of tears at once, but in the words of Princess Aura, “water leaks from their eyes.” Generally such tears are for fallen chieftains or maybe a lost sword, but also sometimes over a disgusting meal of overcooked, black-and-white, root vegetables like the ones depicted in this comic.

Princess Aura

Princess Aura, definitely worth raiding Italy for.

All of the material in this commentary was exhaustively invented by the author, but feel free to use it in your college papers folks.

By the way, if you like my cartoons, please hop over to which has been getting most of my cartoonish attention lately.