Now that Baldur has internet access he’s been following the recent developments with Romania’s witches. On hearing the news that spells were cast using cat turds as components, Loki sees nothing but dollar signs in the litter box.
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Loki explains his outfit is part of the great Halloween festival on Midgard, but Odin does not understand: Halloween is not a Viking holiday; Walpurgis, the Viking holiday of darkness, is held in the spring. But Loki is not planning to actually celebrate Halloween. He’s attending the big festival for an entirely different reason…
Sexy witch chicks.
It seems like all the witches I bump into nowadays are looking pretty good. If you attend any Halloween parties this year, chances are the witches you encounter are going to be smoking hot, and I don’t mean because they’re on fire. And if you’ve ever had the fortune to meet a real witch — you know, like a practicing Wiccan or a member of some goddess cult — chances are she wasn’t unattractive either, and if she was, she hid her ugliness behind jangly earrings and trippy beads.
Now I don’t mean to suggest that there aren’t still some green hags collecting toe of frog and eye of newt in the darker regions of the forest. Someone has to keep it evil and make sure the young children stay in line and our literary and cinematic traditions remain properly anchored. But most witches today are not of the warty skin and flying monkey variety. They’re looking good on those brooms, and riding them with style.
