Did the Norse Gods Destroy a Statue of Jesus in Ohio?

News of this event was sent to me by a reader (thanks!) who figured maybe Odin blew Jesus away. But even though Odin tosses lightning bolts on a regular basis in the pages of this comic, I wouldn’t point the finger at him for this kind of thing. Blowing away statues of other deities seems a bit petty for Father of Thor. Loki on the other hand… definitely a suspect!

Of course, maybe Jesus himself blew the statue away. After all, isn’t there something in the Bible about not making “unto thee any graven image, or any likeness´╗┐ of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth — especially really cheesy ones”?

And then there is another theory, quite controversial and certainly ludicrous, but presented here solely for your amusement. Maybe, just maybe, liquid and ice particles above the freezing level collided and built up a large electrical field in the clouds. Positive and negative charges separated, resulting in a negatively charged cloud in the atmosphere and a positively charged Earth surface below. Soon, a giant “spark” occurred between the positive and negative fields, reducing the charge separation. The spark in this case occurred right between the outstretched hands of the touchdown Jesus. At this point, a mighty clap of thunder shook the land, a flash of lightning cut across the sky, the Jesus statue became hotter than the surface of the sun, and all that carefully wrought metal-and-plastic burned to the ground.

Nah, that’s preposterous…

Either Jesus blew himself away to protest his tacky portrait or Loki did it as a practical joke. Apparently the statue was made in Florida, probably by the same crew that paints faces on coconuts to sell to tourists. I say Jesus did it.