I mean, this seems entirely semi-plausible, doesn’t it? Think about it from the Viking perspective. All of your gods have badass magical weapons. Thor has a hammer. Odin has a spear. Loki’s got nunchucks. You’ve got to assume the gods in the other religions are armed too!
Yes, this is exactly the kind of discussion that takes place in Comparative Religion programs at top universities around the world. If it’s not Thor versus Jesus, it’s Zeus versus Vishnu, or who would have won in a barroom brawl, Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada or Joseph Smith, assuming both men actually drank? Matter of fact, I’m surprised Spike hasn’t come up with a Deadliest God show to go along with the Deadliest Warrior. We’ve already seen Viking versus Samurai, Gladiator versus Apache, so why not move the action to the heavens?
The end of the world is way overdue. Christianity and the Norse religion both anticipate a terrible apocalypse. Why don’t both groups work together? World serpent and flying scorpions, fire giants and many-headed beast, Fenris wolf and the creepy little kid from the Omen movies… IT WILL BE THE BEST APOCALYPSE EVER.
Let me repeat that:
THE BEST APOCALYPSE EVER IS COMING FOR YOU WICKED SINNER SINNER IF YOU DO NOT REPENT IN THE NAME OF JESU-THOR.
Sorry, folks — I’m a little off my rocker today. For some reason it only feels correct to write doomsday proclamations in capital letters. Try it yourself sometime and you’ll see what I mean!
Well, Harold Camping and the Family Radio Network folks didn’t get the apocalypse they wanted, but they managed to give the mainstream, Beast-influenced, secular media something to blab about both before and after the May 21 Rapture.
Frankly, I’ve been pretty down on the world ending since Y2K turned out to be nothing but job security for computer programmers who had to fix all that calendar code (I got a little work out it, can’t complain too much). Oh, yeah — I heard a soda machine failed somewhere in Australia.
Not sure how many of Camping’s followers have turned to Odin in the wake of his failed prophesy, but there must be one or two. When it comes to the apocalypse, nothing beats the Ragnarok.
Enjoy the house while it lasts, atheist neighbors.
Odin and Friends is primarily concerned with the misadventures of the Norse gods, but occasionally must turn its attention to pressing matters in other corners of the metaphysical universe. Sadly, Ronnie James Dio passed away on May 16, and the now the dominant powers of the Christian religion are fighting over who lays claim to his soul. Dio was fond of saying that there is no such thing as a heaven and hell beyond this world… that heaven and hell are here on earth and exist inside every one of us. However, the battling forces of the Christian universe don’t quite see it that way. Make sure to tune in next week to see how this celestial confrontation plays out.
Put Christ back in Christmas.
Jesus is the reason for the season.
It’s not “winter holiday” – it’s our holiday.
Down with “holiday songs,” up with “Christmas carols.”
Boycott the Gap for not advertising in the name of our Lord.
Ham for everyone.
Outlaw dradle spinning in school.
Put the kabosh on Kwanzaa.
Doesn’t it just make you want to barf?
Hail Odin!
Although Odin pays little attention to the billions of prayers that humans send daily into the clouds, occasionally one will perk his attention…
Dear Lord Jesus Christ, listen to my humble prayer. I need to know whether you exist or not, my Lord. I have a teenage hooker waiting for me right now in Las Vegas. Your possible existence is the only thing keeping me from leaving my fat wife.
Odin responds.
Some folks wonder why Christianity supplanted the old Viking religion. In the Christian religion you get to relax when you die. Going to heaven is like going on vacation to Florida… forever. But the Viking afterlife is just a training period before the apocalyptic final battle, the Ragnarok, takes place. In Valhalla, every day the heroes wake up and fight to the death, honing their battlefield skills. It’s not much different than military boot camp.
In other words, Christian dead people are a bunch of lazy wimps.
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